Agent Coulson has taught me that if you deny a character death completely, that character will come back.
sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST
remember when we found out Neville Longbottom had bigger balls than anyone else in the HP series
remember how Dumbledore told us this in the very first book, but no one believed him
I’m watching Hell’s Kitchen and I can’t stop laughing because Gordon Ramsay just called this girl a fucking biscuit then threw a piece of salmon at her and for the past 7 minutes she’s just been stood there looking at him like this
Polycoria - a medical condition of having multiple pupils in one eye.
cutting toxic people out of your life is like flossing it hurts like a bitch and sometimes you cry and bleed but once its overwith everything is minty fresh and clean feeling and you can have a good day
if you flossed more it wouldn’t bleed
who let a dentist on tumblr